Journey Through Network Administration – Ended

•December 24, 2014 • Leave a Comment

I have always hated my job. Not every part of it but I hated the most of it. So a few months back, I decided to just quit my job, go home, find the one thing that I’ll never get tired of and be happy.

The first step had been done. I passed my resignation letter to my boss although I have to complete my 30-day transition period before I can finally move on. Quitting is not easy. It’s scary. I honestly have no idea what to do with my life by next year but I have a few ideas already. I have to start over, learn new things – things that I truly love. But in spite of that, it felt really good. I feel relieved. I feel free. Of all the decisions I made in my life, this is one of those that I will never regret of. In the future, I will look back into this day and give myself a tap on the back and say, “Good job. You did the right thing”.

So for now, I have to say that my journey through network administration has ended. 🙂

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After Midnight

•August 17, 2013 • Leave a Comment

After watching Before Midnight, I thought to myself that maybe I shouldn’t be in a relationship mainly because I’m too emotionally unstable.Yes, I am, always has been. I get too attached, emotionally attached and I’ve always found it hard to detach myself from that connection whenever necessary. I feel like I’ll have to feel pain first before I could actually fly free. I cry on little things. Things that make no sense at all. Things that are not supposed to be cried over. I cry on the feel of rejection and neglection. It just sucks…that feeling.

The movie also had me reminded of how marriage scared me when I was in high school and it still does. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about this thing yet because first, I am still 23 and second, my current boyfriend whom I’m not saying I’m gonna end up with for the rest of my life doesn’t want to comply or settle on this marriage thing. But then, I still think about it sometimes. It scares me not because I might end up cheating on my not-yet-known husband or because I don’t want to be owned or something like that but because I might end up to be the one who loves more, who gives more because I feel like I already am right now and I don’t want to. I believe that the more you love someone, the more painful it would be and I know pain is part of the deal, part of the risk you have to take if you choose to love but it’s still scary.

And kids. I don’t wanna have kids or at least not in the near future. They’re like spiders. I wouldn’t know what to do when I encounter one. Well, kids are cute (never are spiders!) but I think having kids would be like giving up everything including my freedom and I don’t want that. Well at least I don’t wanna have one until I figure out what I really wanna do in life and until I have lived my life to the fullest. But you know, I admire all the mothers in the world especially my Mom for raising me and my siblings but never those moms who abuse their kids.

The whole sequel though was good but I liked the latest (Before Midnight) best although I don’t think it would happen to me because I’m not a very kind stranger and why the hell would I get off the train with a stranger? But yeah, all three were good.

Missing My Home

•March 8, 2013 • Leave a Comment

It’s been over a year since I last saw my family. I was watching a TV series Please Be Careful With My Heart when I realized how much I missed them. I missed my Mama’s luto, my Papa’s corniest jokes, my youngest brother’s kakulitan, and my other siblings’ kamalditahan and kamaldituhan. Haaaaai. How I miss them. 

My Journey Through Network Administration

•March 7, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Network administration was introduced to me when I was on my third year in college. I was taking up BS IT so luckily for me, it was part of our curriculum. In the class I was taking, we were taught about the basic information people need to learn about networking such as cabling, IP addressing, basic routing and switching configuration, and other basic theories and it got me interested with the subject. Before I took up that class, I really had no idea what field in IT I must practice although I was a bit interested in Database Management. When the class ended and I did pretty good, I decided to take an elective for Network Administration instead for Multimedia. I thought this might be the field of study I’d be truly interested about.

And so I did. It was all thanks to our professor, who was at that time a licensed CCNP and whose goal was to work at NASA, that I got more interested in the subject. He would tell us about how it feels to be a network administrator and how in demand the job was for us. So on the 8th of June 2010, after rigid training, I took the CCNA exam and passed. I, together with friends, were truly grateful for our professor for supporting us all the way till the exam. We were the first batch in our school to have acquired a CCNA license so we were really proud.

I didn’t graduate on time so I was not able to practice my networking skills but two months after my delayed graduation, I flew to Metro Manila to try my luck. After a week or so, I was hired as a junior network engineer in a cable internet company, Destiny. I was assigned in the Network Operations Center (NOC) Department. My job included monitoring traffic of the network, assisting our technical support team for subscribers’ complaints that  are beyond their knowledge and skills, and configuring switches, routers and servers when needed. Sounds nice, huh. But to be honest, all I did was sleep, watch movies, anime’s, TV series so I didn’t really a lot. I did learn few things but it wasn’t that much.

After four months, Destiny was bought by Sky Cable Corporation, one of its competitors. Luckily for me, I was rehired by the said company. I was assigned in the Broadband Core Support team of the NOC department. We take calls from other departments especially from the customer service representatives about subscribers’ issues and complaints. We monitor network traffic using open-source monitoring tools. We were also given access to CMTS’ telnet, routers and switches. As for me, I manage Destiny’s network database because I was the only person in our team who has a knowledge about database management.

At first, I was not comfortable with my job and I still am. I hate my job. I hate taking calls from those rude CSR agents, I hate our immediate supervisor and some of my teammates. I have learned a lot from the team though. I had no idea what CMTS meant or how cable  modems were managed and monitored but now I do. I definitely learned a lot from Sky Cable. However, I couldn’t take the stress the people I work with give me anymore. I am currently looking for another job right now. I have been stressed for over six months already and I don’t think I could take another month of working with them anymore. I just hope I get a better job.

This is all for now.

23 Years Of Existence on Earth

•January 17, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Yesterday, January 16, 2013, celebrated my 23 years of existence on earth. It was not a very happy day though. It was rather a very gloomy day for me. I was too depressed and down about the importance of my existence in this world, I forgot to appreciate my boyfriend’s effort to absent from work just for me to not be alone on my birthday. Honestly, I was a little disappointed he didn’t get me what I wanted as a gift because he said he forgot. I decided to get over it though but I was still depressed. So he talked and shared his thoughts and feelings about us, about how I make him feel very unappreciated. I didn’t mean to make him feel that way. I may have been too self-centered, I forgot that relationship is a two-way process.

Anyway, before my day ended, I decided to set goals to accomplish until my next birthday next year. In no particular order:

  • Search for something you actually love doing.
  • Stop lying on your bed depressing about how awful your life is. Somebody out there has worse problems that yours.
  • If you still hate your job, quit and find another one.
  • Give your family a higher priority than other things.
  • Stop complaining about how passionate-less you are. Do something about it, for Christ’s sake.
  • Buy yourself a new and better laptop.
  • Travel out of town, at least once.
  • Stop being an insecure, jealous girlfriend. Just show him love and appreciate him. Don’t mind his facebook account adding a lot of chicks.
  • SAAAAAAVE!
  • Complete Adventure Time character stuff toys. 🙂

Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013

•January 1, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Hello 2013

It’s official! 2013 is here and 2012 has become the past. I had a blast, despite not being able to spend it with my family, welcoming the New Year with my friends and other people in Makati last night. The fireworks were extremely awesome I could have cried.

My 2012 was not perfect but it was pretty awesome. Things happened but I was able to survive the rough times 2012 offered. Cheesy as it may sound but I feel like I’ve become stronger and more mature. Some perceptions in life changed like religion and politics, sex, relationships, family, and life itself. Thank you 2012 I had a great time.

Sunday Existential Crisis (Story of my Life)

•August 12, 2012 • Leave a Comment

ImageThis day is a very quiet Sunday and it’s making me feel depressed. I am all alone in this not so quiet office doing nothing. I put the lights off and set the air conditioner to 19°C. It’s so dark and so cold in here that the darkness and coldness goes  through my veins. And here I am trying to figure out the importance of my being. Or do I even matter? To me, I am nothing. I don’t have anything in my life that I could be proud of. Well, I am proud of my parents for being able to send us (I and my siblings) to school despite the kind of life that we have. But I don’t have anything IN ME that I could be proud of. I don’t even know what I want or if I’m even good at something.

When I was in elementary and high school, I used to be the smart one. It felt really good to be someone but when I went to college everything just changed. I remember I told myself that I was gonna achieve more than what I already achieved but it didn’t happen. Everyone seems to be better than me. I thought that maybe I took the wrong course and I still do. I don’t regret taking that path though. I gained friends, not a lot but at least true. But still, my life sucked. I was struggling in college financially, mentally and emotionally. My parents couldn’t support me enough because we were financially unstable, I had no interest with the course I was taking, and I felt bad for myself for that. I graduated a year and a half after my expected graduation date and I was not proud. I was never proud about my graduation. I felt like I didn’t learn anything at all.

I went here in Manila to try my luck and yes, I got lucky or so I thought. I got my first job 3 weeks after moving here. It didn’t offer a very good salary but I still took it. At first, I thought I was having a good time with my job because it’s like they’re paying me for logging into Facebook and watching movies and TV series at the office, literally. For the past 6 months, that’s what I have been doing in my workplace. It may sound really cool but to be very honest, it is not. I wanted to learn things so I could do better in this field of work I am trying to fit myself. I wanted to challenge myself, I wanted them to challenge me and that was what I expected them to give to me but to my disappointment, it was not. They would even recommend new TV series for me to watch. And for the past 6 months, I didn’t learn anything. Well, I did learn few things but it was not enough. But I don’t really blame them because I should be the one to blame for wasting all those free time watching stupid and nonsense series instead of studying or at least figuring out what I want. And it wounds me that I am leaving this company without learning anything at all. Yes, I’m leaving the company because it has been bought by its competitor company and I am not yet sure if they would hire me or not. Which leads me to my other frustration in life at the moment. I have been looking for a job since June, if I am not mistaken, but I didn’t receive any job offer yet. I’ve been to a few interviews already but no luck for me. It just sucks.

My life just sucks. Sometimes I just want to vanish. x__x